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Father’s Day is right around the corner, (June 21 if you’ve missed the memo,) and what better way to celebrate than with some of our favourite guys’ best lines.
Thanks to late night host, Jimmy Fallon, the Twitterverse has blown up with some absolute corkers that our dad’s have come out with. And, however embarrassing, we frankly cannot get enough.
Laugh it up folks, you’re glaring into your futures!
1. This dad who can’t quite put his finger on the anatomy
“If we have fingertips, why don’t we have toe tips?” – My Father #DadQuotes #idontknowdad
— Emma Conant (@emma__conant) June 13, 2019
2. This dad who couldn’t CD point of a disk player
When desktop computers first came out, my dad got super excited & said, “Look at this! They even put in a cup holder!”
Dad thought the the disc drive was a cup holder ? #DadQuotes pic.twitter.com/QJsWIoijLB— Lori-Lydia Loveless (@lorilydialove) June 13, 2019
3. This dad who might be called Doug
My dad is notorious for never knowing what things are actually called… One time he asked us how he can post something for sale on Doug’s Corner. He meant Craigslist #DadQuotes
— Miranda Villei Stepp (@MirandaVillei) June 12, 2019
4. This dad who is never just “fine”
When people at stores or restaurants ask my Dad “how are you?” Or “how’s it going?” His response is always “teetering on the brink of magnificence” ALL. THE. TIME. #DadQuotes
— Niki Rydell (@plhsecon) June 12, 2019
5. This dad who is probably the only person who isn’t lying when the dentist asks him if he flosses
You don’t have to brush all your teeth, only the ones you want to keep #DadQuotes
— Peter Moore (@moorepeterj) June 12, 2019
6. This dad who is more punctual than he is tech-savvy
(When my dad got his first smart phone) “Hey Heather, when does the App Store open?” #DadQuotes
— Heather Rou (@HeatherRou) June 12, 2019
7. This dad who has unlocked parenting lvl. infinity
When I was in third grade, we were moving to a new house and I was devastated. I was crying so hard and I asked my dad why we had to move. He responded with, “Because you always leave your towels on the floor.” I’ve hung up my towels every day since. #DadQuotes
— Bethany Loggins (@bethany_loggins) June 12, 2019
8. This dad who has an astronomical sense of humour
When I was a kid, I was studying the solar system in school. When I was telling my parents about it, my dad asked “Have you heard of the restaurant on the moon? It has great food, but no atmosphere.”#DadQuotes
— Name Goes Here (@justintimbrpond) June 12, 2019
9. This dad who wouldn’t let the sun go down on GM
At dinner one night my brothers phone buzzed. He got an alert saying that George Michael had died. Without missing a beat my dad says “Wham..Just like that….” #DadQuotes
— Craig McNabb (@craig_mcnabb) June 12, 2019
10. This dad who has a keen sense of smell
@jimmyfallon #DadQuotes The other day we saw someone sniff a coupon. My dad looked at me, dead serious, and said “That’s how you know the coupon’s still good.”
— Justin Bush (@Justin_BQuinnic) June 12, 2019
11. This dad who has a grave sense of humour
EVERY time we drove by a cemetery with a fence around it my dad would ask “Do you know why there is a fence around that cemetery?? People are dying to get in there” #DadQuotes
— James McNeely (@james_on18) June 12, 2019
Ah, dads. Just the gifts that keep on giving!
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